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Post Info TOPIC: the 2nd Basic Essay w/parallelism


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the 2nd Basic Essay w/parallelism
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Dear Kendall and all,


Here is another example of a student's basic essay.  This is basic essay number 2, which includes parallelism.  This is certainly one of my more skilled writers, so her elocution is pretty solid. :)  I now realize that I did not teach enumeration, so that is reflected here.  This is also an example of an essay that causes me to question, "How boring and basic do we keep it?"  This student seems to reflect the order of arrangement that we expect while still injecting her own skill and creativity.


 


I believe children should be homeschooled because of the many benefits academically, organizationally, and socially.


There are many academic advantages to homeschooling.  One example is that the student can receive one-on-one teaching from his or her parent, making the learning experience much more meaningful, fruitful and purposeful. Another advantage is that homeschooled students can progress at their own pace, rather than having to move along with an entire class. For students who are too advanced or not quite advanced enough for their particular grade level, this makes school much more valuable. Furthermore, the teacher and student are able to concentrate on what the student needs most, which is difficult for a teacher with a large class full of different learning styles.




Another reason to homeschool is organizational flexibility. Instead of having to follow the rigid schedule of a school, the homeschooling family can organize their work in a way that is most beneficial to them. Rather than being bound to having each class at the same time, for the same length of time, every day, homeschoolers can build their school schedule around their families’ needs. They can also take their work with them wherever they go, rather than being restricted to a classroom. Many homeschoolers are accustomed to doing their school in a variety of venues, such as coffee shops, libraries, cars, and airplanes. Another aspect in which homeschooling is more flexible than traditional school is in that there are many more options for the parents to decide from when making curriculum choices. The homeschooler can choose whatever level they want in whatever subjects they want, instead of having to follow strict state standards that must be accomplished by the end of the year.


The social benefits are also a good reason to homeschool. Children that go to school all day, every day with dozens of other children of the same age become very peer dependant. They are put under great pressure to conform to the many standards set by their peers, which can cause problems when the viewpoints of the students are not in accord with the truth. Also, students may not learn to relate to people of all ages if, from the time they are five years old, they spend the majority of every day with children of their own age. Because homeschoolers spend so much more time interacting with family members and other people during the time that most children spend in school, they generally develop much better relationship skills than non-homeschoolers. In a traditional school situation, the family unit is replaced by the classroom when the child goes off to school. The students and their peers become a new “group,” their own entity. Because the student spends so much time with his or her family, the family tends to remain strongly bonded.


Because homeschooling is advantageous academically, organizationally, and socially, I believe children should be homeschooled.



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Leah wrote:



Dear Kendall and all,


Here is another example of a student's basic essay.  This is basic essay number 2, which includes parallelism.  This is certainly one of my more skilled writers, so her elocution is pretty solid. :)  I now realize that I did not teach enumeration, so that is reflected here.  This is also an example of an essay that causes me to question, "How boring and basic do we keep it?"  This student seems to reflect the order of arrangement that we expect while still injecting her own skill and creativity.


 


Leah,


That is a very fine piece of work. It seems clear to me that the structure of this essay helped your student think about the issue, though it is also obvious that the issue is a common topic of conversation for her and her family!


AS to the question of how boring and basic to keep it, I would allow for students who can write like this to develop their subpoints as she did. I would, however, still insist that she begin each point with the restatement of the thesis and the number of the point she is developing: The first reason homeschooling is perfect is because...


Students should repeat the thesis and number with each point for at least three reasons: it provides a constant reminder of the precise thesis, it forms the habit of reminding them and the reader where they are in the essay, and it prepares them for long presentations.


The first reason students should repeat the thesis and number for each point is because it provides a constant reminder of the precise thesis. It is easy for even the best students to wander from their point, so we need to overtrain them to stay on task.


The second reason students should repeat the thesis and number for each point is because it forms the habit of reminding them and the reader where they are in the essay. While this seems like a trivial point in a short, three paragraph essay, that is precisely what we are not preparing them to write. As the next point will demonstrate, this is a vital, essential, ultra-important habit - and everything is about habit.


The third reason students should repeat the thesis and number for each point is because it prepares them for long presentations. Eventually, they will be writing extensive research papers, reports, speeches, debates, etc. When they do so, if we have not developed in them the habit of remembering where they are and cueing the audience as to where they are in their speech, they will have to develop two skills at once then and it will slow them down. Furthermore, habits like this will make students more comfortable with things like debate and therefore more likely to participate in them, not to speak of succeeding in them.


It is clear and agonizingly obvious and unarguably indubitable that students should repeat the thesis and number for each point because it provides a constant reminder of the precise thesis, it forms the habit of reminding them and the reader where they are in the essay, and it prepares them for long presentations. The student doing his free throws today will rarely appreciate the effort required, but that same student will be very grateful when life demands careful, focused, and orderly thought.


(Bonus section:)


If you fail to demand these habits of your students, you condemn them to a lifetime of despair, confusion, and poverty and you will be the only one to blame.


How's that? I hope you don't mind me funnin' with you in the conclusion. Does anybody know what that little bonus section is called?



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Leah,


Maybe the key is to figure out the goal of the restrictions.  If the goal has already been met by a student then it seems to me that restricting the student loses much of its purpose. 


I am reminded of piano lessons I took when I was 13.  I had taught myself some piano and knew quite a bit of music theory because of other instuments I played.  The piano teacher taught me as though I was a 5 year old beginner and quickly killed my desire for piano lessons.  I continued to play a little on my own, but I think I could have become a decent pianist if a teacher had taken me from where I was while also shoring up the basics.  


FWIW,


Kendall


 


 


 


 


 



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Thanks for the feedback. 


I loved the explantion-I just might print that out for one of the classes.


And yes, I am fine even after the weight of your amplification (?).  I believe that I will have worked through the guilt and pressure by this evening to allow for at least a few hours of sleep.


We did have a good chat in class this morning reflecting your advice.  I believe that they are really beginning to see the importance of the building blocks.  In general, they are simply used to putting their thoughts down on paper.  We had a nice discussion about the importance of exactness in Latin chants, multiplication tables, scales...


As a teacher, I am realizing that the fact is that I do have a few students who do not have the habit of any of these "building blocks".  I have to remember that in this particular class, some students have not been taught the importance and authority of these basics.  This Friday class is my tough one sometimes because it is an interesting mix of classical homeschoolers and unschoolers who now have decided to have a bit more structure. Sometimes that makes the task seem overwhelming, but then I just focus on the basics and it works.



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Kendall wrote:



Leah,


Maybe the key is to figure out the goal of the restrictions.  If the goal has already been met by a student then it seems to me that restricting the student loses much of its purpose. 


I am reminded of piano lessons I took when I was 13.  I had taught myself some piano and knew quite a bit of music theory because of other instuments I played.  The piano teacher taught me as though I was a 5 year old beginner and quickly killed my desire for piano lessons.  I continued to play a little on my own, but I think I could have become a decent pianist if a teacher had taken me from where I was while also shoring up the basics.  


FWIW,


Kendall


 Kendall,


This is exactly right. Be teleologically obsessed. Once a child has mastered a procedure, she should continue to do it, but she should also be pushing the limits of her powers. Stay with the basics AND honor what your students already know.


I would suggest that your piano teacher, by not letting you push the limits, dishonored you - which is the guaranteed way to destroy enthusiasm.


Leah, in her post, pointed out that she discussed the necessity for the basics with her class. Done respectfully, this helps them understand the reason for the repetition, and thus makes them realize they are being respected. We can take a lot from people who respect us (take our heavenly Father for example).


So what are the goals: above all, habit. Also, habit. And once that is in place, work on habits. In addition, laying a foundation that is so secure that you can build a vast and beautiful palace atop it.


You have good instincts, Kendall. Thank you.


 


 


 


 






-- Edited by akern at 08:56, 2006-10-28

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I know I may be asking another totally stupid question because the answer may be right before me, but I just don't see the instructions about how boring to make the second essay (first 5-paragraph essay). I see at the end of the arrangement section for Module 2 that the instructions are for the kids to sort their ANI's, but there's nothing about the outline for that module or then what to do with it. I'm printing off the two examples in this thread--so thanks for the examples and your clear instructions in your post, Andrew.

And if anyone wants to point me in the right direction for more specific instructions in the next hour or so, I'd appreciate it. I've been so busy with moving my dad here from California and getting him established with doctors here that I'm really flying by the seat of my pants.

We have done ANI for whether we should homeschool

Patti

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Patti,


I noticed recently that the arrangement Module 3 for Lesson 3 Basic Persuasive is actually the module for Introductory Persuasive used in Lesson 2.  It doesn't answer the question about how to convert the outline to an essay but it does talk about the outline and arrangement worksheet.   It is pg 42-46.


 


HTH,


Kendall



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